Electricity

23 Jun 2025 12:57

Ok. All of this seems so weird to me. I have been looking for an additional part time or a full time job. (This one does not pay the bills). I found a customer service opening for the (1)local power company, it sounds great. I haven't heard back from them yet, but it is like electricity has become a gigantic focal point in life lately, since I had applied. I actually applied for a job with a security company and they interviewed me. The connection here is that the job would be doing security for a bitcoin mine, here in town, that uses (2)HUGE amounts of electricity. Well, starting last Friday we had huge (3)electrical storms and tornados roll through our area. It wasted so many trees and structures in a wide area. We (4)lost electricity on Friday night and it was out until Sunday morning. Some are still without electricity. It has been the biggest and strongest of this type of storm that anyone here can remember. Does that not seem to be that there is a electrical connection here? What does it mean?

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A Different Mirror, A Different Me

Today, I used a different mirror.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with what it means to truly live my best life. For years, that meant chasing diet fads, smoothing wrinkles, and holding onto youth in any way I could. But somewhere along the way, I let go. Life felt like it was winding down, and I settled into coast mode—until reality nudged me awake.

I could have another 30 years ahead of me. Maybe. Having battled cancer, I wonder if that changes things. Will I make it to 80? I don’t have the answer.

This morning, I chose the bedroom mirror instead of the bathroom one. Better lighting. Sharper details. And then—oh my gosh. How old am I?

I wasn’t ready for the reflection staring back at me. I felt disgusted. Conflicted. Curious. The next thing I knew, I was scrolling through TikTok, searching for makeup tricks to soften the lines that seemed to have appeared overnight.

I never thought of myself as vain. But lately, I don’t feel good in my own skin. I never saw myself as particularly attractive, just average—but at least average felt okay. Now? I don’t have a career, I don’t have much going for me, and suddenly, my appearance seems to matter in ways it never did before.

My husband struggles with his own body image issues, and whether he means to or not, his self-criticism echoes in my mind. He always said he didn’t want to date an older woman—but here we are, seven years in, and time keeps moving forward. Am I older than I should be? Life has aged me in ways most people my age haven’t experienced—nearly dying from COVID in 2021, enduring cancer treatment last year. I feel tired.

A different mirror reflected back a different me today. I just don’t know how I feel about her yet.

 

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Career Struggles?

I sometimes wonder if my career struggles are just part of being Gen X or if it’s more personal. I know that at least some of my setbacks are connected to my ex-husband. For a long time, I felt like I existed in his shadow—I was “his wife” rather than an individual with my own identity. His career required a lot of moving, and I always followed, taking whatever jobs I could find. Most lasted only a few years before I had to quit and relocate again. At times, I didn’t work at all, instead focusing on maintaining the home and supporting him. I even assisted with his financial career and later attempted working in insurance on my own, but I didn’t enjoy it despite the good pay.

Now, I find myself in a part-time job that brings me peace. It’s at a church, where I work in quiet, which my ADHD seems to appreciate. The downside? It doesn’t cover the bills.

I was set to start another job working with children who have disabilities—something I’ve done before and truly loved—but I’m unsure if I’m physically or emotionally up for it. Since having COVID in 2021, fighting cancer in 2024, undergoing carpal tunnel surgeries in 2025, and experiencing a wave of loss, I’ve been battling persistent fatigue. These burdens have stacked up, leaving me exhausted.

So, I think I’ll let that second job go and explore the possibility of a side gig instead. I’ve tried several in the past, none of which panned out, but maybe I just need to keep pushing forward. Ideally, I’d love to find something that sparks my creativity.

In today's evolving job market, understanding the nuances of employment is more important than ever. Whether you're job hunting, advancing in your career, or navigating workplace dynamics, staying informed and adaptable can make all the difference.

Remember, every professional journey is unique—so embrace opportunities, keep learning, and connect with others who inspire you. The right career path isn’t just about securing a job, but about finding fulfillment and growth along the way.

What’s your next step in your employment journey? Let’s keep the conversation going.  Tell me your story on the community engagement page.   

 

 

 

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Generational Perspective

15 May 2025 11:57

I'm sitting at my desk, staring at the piles and files of tasks to complete. I'm feeling tired because I haven't been sleeping well. Working alone today, I feel a bit dreary.

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ADHD Xer

15 May 2025 12:00

Oh, the struggles of a Xer with ADHD. How many of you have ADHD? When were you diagnosed. How do you think it affects your life now that you know? How did it affect your life looking back as a child? Drop your story on the community stories page, please. Let us all tell our stories, so we know we aren't alone. 

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Death and the downside of life as a child.

15 May 2025 11:59

Life as a Gen Xer is a constant balancing act. We came up in an era of independence, and now we're navigating career uncertainty, financial pressures, and family responsibilities all at once. Ageism in the workplace makes it harder to move up, and adapting to new tech feels like a never-ending race. Meanwhile, many of us are caught between caring for aging parents while still supporting kids—emotionally and financially. Retirement feels more like a moving target than a plan, especially with debt hanging over us. But if there's one thing Gen Xers do well, it's rolling with the punches and finding a way forward, just like we've always done.

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TODAY'S DILEMA... MEDICATION, IS IT WORTH IT?

I had breast cancer, I completed treatment almost a year ago. The doctor prescribed a pill that I was to take for 5 years to decrease my chance of recurrence by about 4%. Recurrence without the pill is 24% with the pill is 19% - or so they say. I don't really know how they come up with these numbers or how exactly they can say what my body might do. 

I tried the pill, side effects were miserable. Everything from hot flasher, weakness, joint pain, headache, back pain, mood changes, etc etc. I contacted the doctor and said, I can't do this. So, we tried another pill, not any better, then another and another until I tried all the pills. So, about 8 months ago, after much discussion with my cancer counselor (yes - that is a thing) I decided I was done taking the pill, I want to live my life without all those horrible side effects. The hot flashes, the doctor said were not from the pill, but when I quit the hot flashes went away, soooo... I am thinking they were. 

So, since I have stopped taking the pill, I feel better. I feel less like a "cancer patient". My boob is still sore and swollen and my ribs hurt and a whole plethora of such things that I am told is from the radiation. So, really I am just kidding myself. Once you have cancer, everything changes and I don't think I can even explain it. I feel very alone most the time. Might help if I had kids, but my ex didn't want them and now I'm to old and to broke. 

There was a show on TV this weekend that talked about the whole cancer thing and somehow the pill came up. My hubby made a comment and it stuck in my head. This morning I asked him to be completely straight with me. I asked him if he wished I was taking this 5 year cancer pill. He said yes, I wish you were. The dogs and I need you to be around as long as possible.  So, this opened up a whole new discussion in my head. What it boils down to is, I don't know what it means to not take the pill, I don't know what it means to be a cancer "survivor". Am I going to die soon?  If so, what does soon mean. Will I get it back in 10 years, 5 years or less than a year. I have NO IDEA what it means. Statistics mean nothing to me. Unless they had a study full of people that were clones of me, the stats don't really apply. Right? How can they? 

So, I have yet another stressful notion bouncing around my head. Add it on the the others, however, this one is about my mortality. 

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